My Summer of Love (Pawel Pawlikowski, 2004, UK)
Full ding-tazzles
Average viewer rating: 7.1/10
My rating: 6/10
I watched this for several reasons, and with high expectations:
-in my eyes, any film with Paddy Considine is a film worth watching.
-I'd read that it was set and shot in West Yorkshire
-I had also read that the film had been scored by Goldfrapp
-the trailer had a short clip of someone playing a cello. Cellos are just cool.
Well, Considine's performance was the best in the film, immaculate, as always. However, his must have been the only believable "Yaaksher" accent. Some of the accents were so bad I wasn't sure whether to laugh or hang myself (or press "mute.")
Other than that, the two female leads were kind of a let down, and I just found them silly and annoying.* The handheld camera started to get a little frustrating as well- it soon became obvious that, with all the fantastic countryside, there were some badly missed visual opportunities that had been scrapped in favour of a shaky camera zoomed in too far. But maybe I'm being picky. The film did succeed in making West Yorkshire look twee and scenic- with a shocking lack of rain.
All in all... an OK watch.
Saw it on smellovision.

*Although that's probably just because of my hatred of women.

9 Songs (Michael Winterbottom, 2004, UK)
Full detailage
Average viewer rating: 5/10
My rating: 2/10
The only good thing in this film is the music- and yes, it contains unsimulated sex, and yes, blah blah blah. The sex is shot in such a way as to just make it cold, sterile and a little bit annoying. The camera work is insistantly arty- handheld all through- and this has a similar effect to a wasp trying to get at your sandwich (it's bloody annoying, and you can't get away from it- and as a result, it starts to make your facial muscles twitch and you want to wave your arms in the air and shout "go away" as if it can understand.) The acting is plain shoddy, and the constant improvisation does not improve this. There is no storyline- people have sex, music, Antarctica, more sex, and ...ooh! drugs! why not. I'm Michael Winterbottom. I'm contraversial. I can do what I want.
Why, Winterbottom, why? What was the possible need for all that embarrassing sex?

I don't think it's legal for me to have watched this film but I did anyway.

Scum (Alan Clarke, 1979, UK)
Full McDetails
Average viewer rating: 7.4/10
My rating: 10/10
Very likely the best film I've ever seen. Actually, I take that back. But it comes damn close. From the first minute or so, it's unflinchingly violent, and it remains consistently so until the closing credits. Concerning a load of vicious cockney yoofs locked up together in Borstal, who each rebel in their own private manner. Some (specifically a young Ray Winstone) beat up the other inmates and climb the perverse social ladder. Others, namely "Archer" (played by Mick Ford in one DAMN fine performance) argue, talk and reason. In the most distressing scene in the whole distressing film,* one inmate, who has found himself subject to rape, decides to commit suicide and is almost completely ignored by the guards. The film has many standout scenes, the most notable being pretty much any that include Archer- without a doubt, Mick Ford steals the show. The film is merciless, and every cliche concerning Good Prevailing Over Evil is swiftly broken up and then urinated on. The ending creeps up on you, and it made me absolutely infuriated. The film left me feeling as though I had just been hit around the head with a bag of dead cats.
Also notable it its complete lack of a soundtrack. Nothing is dramatised further than the simple acting and directing will allow for. Music would in fact detract from the film's heavy impact.

I downloaded this film. Not entirely legitimate. I'm sorry, I had to see it, and I had no idea where to get hold of it- other than by buying it, of course, but then what if I didn't like it? Out, damn spot!

*You could even go as far as to call it a distress-fest. AHAHAHAHAAA.

Buffalo '66 (Vincent Gallo, 1998, USA)
Full details
Average viewer rating: 7.2/10
My rating: 7/10
Follows the story of some lowlife or other (Vincent Gallo, who not only wrote, directed and starred in the film but also composed and performed much of the soundtrack) who is released from jail, and sets out to convince his parents he's been away on business by kidnapping a passer-by (Christina Ricci) and making her pretend to be his wife. I found it incredibly depressing to start with- the section that takes place at his neglectful parents' house being particularly awkward- but somehow towards the end it managed to mould itself into a very twisted feel-good ending.
Viewed on DVD borrowed from a chum.